Wednesday 5 September 2007

Bad English and Rabbit Sex


11:25] Juicy Laiminate: bunny is back
[11:25] IM: Licky Princess shhh
[11:25] IM: Licky Princess: that bloody bunny is here lol
[11:27] Juicy Laiminate: /grabs tail
[11:27] Licky Princess: that's not his tail
[11:28] Hahn Booger: sorry my inglese not very god
[11:28] Juicy Laiminate: Oooo Can I kiss you?
[11:28] Hahn Booger: kiss
[11:28] Licky Princess: ooo bunny do you like two girls?
[11:28] Hahn Booger: is sex?
[11:28] Juicy Laiminate: that is ok we can speak the UNIVERSAL language
[11:28] Licky Princess: Juicy and I share our Rabbit
[11:28] Hahn Booger: what is rabbit?
[11:28] Licky Princess We do wash it of course in between
[11:28] Juicy Laiminate: sex
[11:28] Hahn Booger: oh yes.. i know sex
[11:28] Licky Princess: Our Vibrators
[11:29] Hahn Booger: you both sexy layde
[11:29] IM: Licky Princess: lol we have to get him into bed!
[11:29] Hahn Booger: i have sex sound
[11:29] IM: Licky Princess: he is cute lol I like him
[11:29] Juicy Laiminate: ooo sex sounds are good
[11:29] Licky Princess: We like sex sounds don't we Juicy
[11:30] Licky Princess: lol his tail is so cute
[11:30] Hahn Booger: is sound sexy yes?
[11:30] Juicy Laiminate: You have a very messy face, what have you been eatting?
[11:30] Hahn Booger: i dont not understanmd sorry .. inglese
[11:30] Licky Princess: Bunny will you fuck Juicy and I?
[11:31] Licky Princess: We will show you our bed?
[11:31] Riding Crop - womanbeater 2000 whispers: Paddle activated. Type 'paddle release' to release controls
[11:31] Hahn Booger: bed yes is sexy time?
[11:31] Licky Princess: /nods
[11:31] Licky Princess: /licks lips slowly
[11:31] Licky Princess: Bunny
[11:31] Licky Princess: follow Juicy and I
[11:33] Licky Princess: shouts: Juicy I think this is time for underwear
[11:34] Juicy Laiminate: Vous avez été un lapin méchant et nous devons vous punir maintenant.
[11:34] Licky Princess: Juicy, your french stinks
[11:35] Licky Princess: He is not paying
[11:35] Licky Princess: I don't think he is French
[11:35] Licky Princess: I spoke French to him earlier and he sounded Eastern block
[11:35] Licky Princess: Underwear on Juicy let's get this hot stud in bed
[11:36] Licky Princess: bunny you are blue
[11:37] Licky Princess: wow big boy
[11:37] Licky Princess is your cock meant to be in your own mouth?
[11:37] Licky Princess: Surely that is our job
[11:37] Hahn Booger: oh
[11:37] Hahn Booger: i take my pant of in real
[[11:38] Juicy Laiminate: OO no
[11:38] Juicy Laiminate: PB
[11:38] Licky Princess mmmmm
[11:38] Licky Princess Where?
[11:38] Juicy Laiminate: Radar
[11:38] Juicy Laiminate: 32
[11:39] Licky Princess: I dob't see him?
[11:39] PB: WTF????!!
[11:39] Licky Princess: ooo
[11:39] Hahn Booger: i make messy hehe
[11:39] IM: Licky Princess: fuck fuck fuck
[11:39] Juicy Laiminate: LMAO
[11:39] Juicy Laiminate: I make messy
[11:40] Licky Princess: omg
[11:40] IM: PB: tell her.. thanks
[11:40] IM: PB: :(
[11:40] IM: Licky Princess: he didn't come up on my radar!!!
[11:40] IM: Licky Princess: am bloody not!!!! did he IM you!
[11:41] IM: Licky Princess: fuck he has LOGGED
[11:41] Hahn Booger: more sexy?
[11:41] Licky Princess: erm no
[11:41] Licky Princess: unless you love me
[11:41] Licky Princess: and Juicy
[11:41] Licky Princess: then it costs you 5000 linden
[11:41] Hahn Booger: yes secy
[11:42] Hahn Booger: you hore lady?
[11:42] Licky Princess: Whore?
[11:42] Juicy Laiminate: yes whore.
[11:42] Hahn Booger: :D
[11:42] Hahn Booger: cheap?
[11:42] Juicy Laiminate: 5000K or you get the boot
[11:42] Licky Princesst: pfft I am not a Whore.
[11:42] Juicy Laiminate: I am
[11:42] Hahn Booger: u look hore
[11:42] Juicy Laiminate: oooooo wrong answer
[11:42] Hahn Booger: i like anos
[11:42] Licky Princess: Anal?
[11:43] Licky Princess: I find him cute
[11:43] Hahn Booger: both layde noce hore not bad hore
[11:43] Hahn Booger: but i must waer plastic
[11:43] Hahn Booger: bunny famous fgor like fuck
[11:44] Hahn Booger: o... my daughetr here.. i go :(
[11:44] Hahn Booger: ahh.. my pants
[11:44] Hahn Booger: bye
[11:44] Juicy Laiminate: umm ermm your daughter came in the room??
[11:45] Licky Princess: You have childrens?
[11:45] Licky Princess: lol sounds foreign herself

Friday 17 August 2007

The Girls Get a Slave


It was a dark night in Second Life, because some fucker had switched the sim to midnight. Stumbling around the bitches uber chic residence, a noob descended on our heads. Unlike most noobs he managed to find a shape, however he had a pea head, and his body out of proportion, resembling that of a long un bid upon fridge on Ebay. Skin, so repulsive it resembled nothing more than someone who had consumed massive amount of gerber baby food, "yams".

Noticing, immediately his eagerness to please, we felt a notion come upon us of a new position in the residence. Slave. The utterly amazing part was how "agreeable" our soon to be slave was, I am sure it must have been the fact that our mere beauty alone, made him go "stoopid". Licky, with her usual acid bile that is called chat, broke down the rules for him.

"We sculpt you into our perfect boy toy, we collar you and in return we "make you hot." You fuck up, we kick your arse"

A wonderful collar was soon hung around his neck. If our slave tried to run off, he would get a few thousand volts down his jap's eye.

We drag his newly collared self, to, of course NAUGHTY ISLAND, the "only" place to buy skins. And we give him explict directions on, what skin to buy (Dante, no facial hair) and how to purchase. it. Licky drops $1300 on him (he was so lucky as I would not have been so generous!) we sit there for at least 10 minutes, I kid you not. He could not find his skin, or so he says. Licky begins to loose patience and of course becomes "bored." A few fights with the locals later Licky focused back on the slave. The end result, no new skin and well, he took off and bypassed our collar security! To this day we do not know if he ran off with the loot and spent it on hot girls in Vegas.

A few months later we were trying to "pull" hotties at Laguna, and way off in the distance, "I saw it" our slaves tag" I found him! Amongst the freaks, noobs with freenises, and the over 50 year old pervs claiming to be "Lifeguards". There he was. Sunning himself and drinking a pina colada (editor note: GHEY).

I ran over to him, well if you want to call it that, as there is no running in Laguna with the lag and all. I approached him, stood in his sunlight and said, "Where have you been you naughty slave??" and, well he was afk. So, I think. Then I realized I had muted him previously (oopsie), so I unmuted him and told him we were "looking for him" p.s. He still had shit skin, different skin, but still shit.

He and I now have a strange but comical friendship, Licky has since moved on to running a whole slave operation for women without limbs, however I find him, funny so I will continue to oblige his desire to speak to hottness for a tad longer. I have attached our most recent conversation for your reading enjoyment. More to follow, I am sure.

[22:09] Bulb: hi dear
[22:09] Juicy Laiminate: Hey Bulby
[22:09] Bulb: in the mood for anal sex?
[22:15] Bulb: i guess a BJ is out of the question too
[22:21] Bulb: you are knocking me around
[22:21] Juicy Laiminate: you still have that shite skin what am I going to do with you
[22:22] Bulb: love the tool belt
[22:22] Bulb: mmm sexy
[22:22] Juicy Laiminate: lol it is my jet pack
[22:23] JJuicy Laiminate: we go way back lol
[22:23] Bulb yes but never even fucked
[22:23] Bulb: i want you bad
[[22:25] Juicy Laiminate: get some damn skin you are hideous, lol but the accessories are cool
[22:25] Bulb thanks lol
[22:25] Bulb: im working on it
[22:25] Juicy Laiminate: hehe see ya soon lol
[22:25] Bulb: ok baby
[22:25] Juicy Laiminate: xx mwwah
[22:25] Bulb: kiss
[22:25] Juicy Laiminate: kisses
[22:25] Bulb: love you
[22:25] Bulb: oops
[22:25] Juicy Laiminate: love you too
[22:25] Juicy Laiminate: hahaha
[22:25] Bulb: awww
[22:25] Juicy Laiminate: see ya
[22:25] Bulb: thanks
[22:25] Bulb: bye
[22:26] Juicy Laiminate: bye :)
[22:26] Bulb: tell your daughter hello for me too
[[22:26] Bulb: sure im jealous of her
[22:26] Bulb: i wish i could have breastfed from you
[22:27] Juicy Laiminate: pfft, you were such an ugly infant, I would have bottle fed your ass for sure, no reason to get my titties stretched for your ugly ass. lmao get out of here

Fashion Show!


Marvelous. Today we went to a fashion show for skins at Givenchi.... Turning up to what I can only describe as scrubland with a retail park full of the advertisements one finds next door to a trailer park. I was disappointed to see no seating, and a complete lack of production.

Sitting on my own rather lovely chair, designed by my favourite furniture store. I sat down to await the models. After some distraction with champagne and general chit chat with the commoners, the show started.

Well fuck me sideways. Dead people.....I could see dead people. The skins were clearly alluding to photo realistic. My arse. They were on par with what you would expect in a coffin after a few days nicely chilled in the freezer.

The piece de resistance, was the stubbly pubic area rash and cellulite. Quite frankly, whomever they photographed should have got herself down the wax clinic, and stayed away from her blunt razor.

Boredom soon set in, so I packed my chair into my Prada styled inventory. And jumped in the Bentley teleport back to my own civilised Island.

It was of course Pimms o'clock in RL.

Sunday 29 July 2007

We are too good for this shit.

But we will endeavour to post our musings of the pathetic we meet in the world of Second Life.

Vaginamite Ultra
Juicy Laiminate
Licky Princess

javascript:void(0)